Learning the Tarot Court Cards was the most challenging aspect of becoming a Tarot reader!

For me, trying to learn the Tarot Court Card meanings felt like being at a really boring party and attempting to remember the names of all the boring guests that I knew I’d never see again.

Why bother?

And yet, Court Cards kept showing up in my readings, much to my irritation. So I knew I had to buckle down and learn the little fuckers.

How did I do it? I had fun with them.

I fleshed out the characters of each Court Card in my head. And at the incessant urging of my evil twin Veronica, I forced myself to consider each and every Court Card as a sexual being.

I already presented you with the smutty side of the Tarot Queens, so now it’s time to get nasty with the Tarot Pages….

The Tarot Pages in Bed

The Pages are somewhat androgynous, which makes this all the more fun!

A Page can be either a young man or young woman. Some decks show the Pages as young women, while the Rider-Waite-Smith portrays them as youthful girly-boys.

The Pages are still finding themselves sexually and they represent the immature qualities of their suit.

The Page of Cups

Suit qualities: emotions, feelings, relationships

Personality traits: He’s spaced out and slutty!

Young, artsy, footloose and fancy-free, the Page of Cups is the ultimate sexual explorer.

Ever the opportunist, this Page sees the sexy potential in everyone and everything. He/she knows that any dorm party, sculpting class or job interview could turn into a spontaneous, erotic adventure at any moment! So he’s always prepared and ready to go.

If you ever date the Page of Cups he will be disarmingly romantic – writing you songs, painting you in the nude and reenacting the pottery wheel scene from Ghost.

But then he’ll nail your sister.

He doesn’t mean to hurt others or make them feel used, its just a natural consequence of his carefree sexual nature.

Secret fantasy: rolling around naked on a canvas covered in paint.

The Page of Wands

Suit qualities: creativity, passion, career, action

Personality traits: He’s adventurous, stupidly brave and full of energy!

The Page of Wands is so energetic in the sack that it’s irritating.

This dude can go all night, but after a while you start to get that panicky feeling like when someone has you cornered at a party and just won’t stop talking. You just want it to end!

This sexy Page is very adventurous and up for anything. No matter what bizarre sex ideas you have, this guy will try it.

He is often drawn to older women, which is a good thing because he could stand to learn a little finesse in the bedroom.

There’s more to lovemaking than just thrusting away like a high-speed sex robot. But the Page of Wands does not know this yet.

Secret fantasy: Being a powerful Sheik, surrounded by a harem of beautiful women

The Page of Pentacles

Suit qualities: money, health, home, the body

Personality traits: She’s studious, inquisitive and loves to learn

The Page of Pentacles loves to study up on everything, so naturally she is educating herself on the carnal arts!

But she prefers to read rather than do.

She may sit in a stuffy library devouring The Kama Sutra and The Joy of Sex, but she’s much too reserved to go grab some guy from the bar down the street to experiment on.

This nerdy Page is totally at home in her own body, but she’d rather sit up in a tree strumming her own Lute than join an orchestra. Promiscuous she is not!

But her fortress walls can be penetrated. Just invite her back to your place to see your antique book collection and she’ll be putty in your hands.

Secret fantasy: Seducing her Philosophy professor at the front of an empty lecture hall.

The Page of Swords

Suit qualities: intellect, thoughts, mind, communication

Personality traits: She’s a tad mentally unstable

This crazy gal read 50 Shades of Grey like everyone else and now pretends to be into BDSM just because its trendy.

She proudly displays her handcuffs and riding crop for all her bedroom visitors to see. Not because she’s kinky but because she wants people to think she’s dark and edgy.

The Page of Swords doesn’t realize it yet, but missionary position, vanilla sex with a generic, dentally perfect hunk is what really lights her loins on fire.

She does not yet know who she is sexually, but that’s okay. She’ll figure it out eventually. In the meantime, she’s content to half-heartedly dominate you.

Secret fantasy: Marrying a male model.

 Read all about the Tarot Knights in bed right here

Discover the Kinky Kings right here

Now it’s your turn….

Which page can you most closely relate to and why? Tell me all about it in the comments below!