“Self Love”: Not Just a Euphemism for Masturbation

veronica 2

Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin. She loves to write smut, travel the world and sun-tan topless in inappropriate places. Today she decided to recycle one of her readings from last year because deep down she just knows you’re too blitzed to notice…

The Star

Housewives Tarot

You know what? You’re a STAR!

Why? You just are!

Now it’s time to celebrate yourself.

But not in a lame, sissy-pants way like taking a bubble bath or eating a piece of chocolate cake.

You should be doing that stuff anyway – as a regular  part of life.

Celebrate by taking yourself on a hot date.

Treat yourself to an exquisite lunch. Order copious amounts of champagne and things containing dairy, gluten and refined sugar – but wear one of those fancy-lady scarves so you can strategically camouflage your gut as you bask in hedonistic splendor!

Make sure you arm yourself with today’s newspaper and while your waiting for your food, scrawl a Hitler stash on everyone you don’t like the looks of. This will provide you with hours of divine amusement and laughter!

Ahhh, this is what “self-love” really feels like.

Tell me….how will you celebrate YOU this weekend?

Posted in May 2016, Veronica Noir | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Tarot Reading for May 23 – 29

There’s nothing better than reading Tarot with cats!!!! For this reading I get some help from the feline kingdom with Tarot of the Pagan Cats. Enjoy!

Does this reading relate to your life? Do you have a different take on these cards? Please feel free to share in the comments below :)

Have a wonderful week!
xoxo
Kate

Posted in May 2016, Weekly Tarot Forecast Videos | Leave a comment

Being “nice”: the biggest sin of all

veronica 2

International Woman of Leisure by day, whipcracking Dominatrix by night! Veronica is my evil twin and she took a quick break from eating bon bons to write you this tidbit of tasty advice. So listen up and take notes!

Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony

Fairytale Tarot by Karen Mahony

Everyone loves a demanding bitch and don’t let any mamsy pamsy, pastel sweater wearer tell you otherwise.

Deluded people everywhere will say they just want to find a nice man or woman, but they don’t. They secretly long for a demanding jerk who will tell them what’s what.

Never underestimate the allure of a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask, or better yet demand!

Possibly the most heartbreaking moment in my entire life was when someone wrote “I think you’re really nice” on a farewell card for me. I was crushed. Where had I gone wrong?

So if you’re they type of person who doesn’t say anything when your in a restaurant and there’s a window open and it’s blowing a freezing cold breeze on your dainty toes…start speaking up and bitching about it.

If you’re the type of person who says “I’m good with whatever you want to do,” for fucksakes, STOP IT!!!! No one likes a wishy washy opinionless twat.

This weekend, say what you want. Bitch about something. Demand something. Have an opinion. And then sit back and watch as hot men everywhere fall at your feet.

Posted in May 2016, Veronica Noir | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Talking Tarot with Benebell Wen

I had the joy and pleasure of sitting down for a Tarot chat with Tarot author extraordinaire Benebell Wen.

Join us as we discuss:

Is Tarot safe?

Fluffy oracle decks VS “hardcore” Tarot decks

Why have some religions demonized Tarot?

  Reading for others: intuition vs Tarot knowledge

  Benebell’s new book!

and so much more….

Visit Benebell’s website: https://benebellwen.com

Find Benebell on Twitter: https://twitter.com/tarotanalysis

Get Benebell’s book Holistic Tarot on Amazon.

I first interviewed Benebell a year and a half ago! Watch that interview right here.

Posted in May 2016 | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Tarot Reading for May 16 – 22

For this reading I’ve busted out my Tarot of the Dream Enchantress – a slightly bizarre deck that reminds me of a combination of pixies, weird sex dreams and something else that I just can’t put my finger on….

Have a great week :)
xoxo
Kate

Posted in May 2016, Weekly Tarot Forecast Videos | 5 Comments

Get Wise, Not Smart!

veronica 2Veronica is my evil twin and alter ego and she apologizes for being dreadfully late with today’s reading. She was busy having her toes painted aquamarine by one of her boy toys and she totally forgot about you. Don’t take it personally!

vintage wisdom 2

Vintage Wisdom Oracle by Victoria Moseley

 It’s time for you to wise up already and start using your wisdom for once.

No, not your “intelligence” – that’s boring and overrated. Wisdom is a whole different ball game!

Choosing to make a waldorf salad the night before a potluck baby shower, so you don’t have to waste your saturday morning chopping apples, is intelligence. But skipping the dreaded baby shower altogether so you can frolick on your balcony with your latest boy toy is Wisdom.

Deciding to cut sugar out of your diet because you know it’s bad for you is intelligent. But strategically planning on replacing your sugar binges with explosive orgasms is wise. 

So stop trying to be so intelligent all the time and start embracing your wisdom!

Posted in May 2016, Weekly Tarot Forecast Videos | 8 Comments

Tarot Card Reading for May 9 – 15

It’s a new moon this week which makes it a perfect week for getting our priorities straight and setting some goals, etc. For this reading I’m using my Dame Darcy Mermaid Tarot deck….

Thank you for watching and please feel free to comment below :)

Have a fabulous week!
xoxo
Kate

 

Posted in May 2016, Weekly Tarot Forecast Videos | 2 Comments

Participation is for wimps

veronica 2Veronica is my evil twin sister who spends her days flirting with 20-year-old boys, suntanning topless on public beaches and saying NO to charities….she needs that money for martinis! Let’s see what evil advice she has for us today…

participation

Osho Zen Tarot

Today’s Tarot card is Participation (aka Four of Wands).

When I was in elementary school, my teachers were always blathering on and on about “participation.” As in “Veronica, why aren’t you participating?”

Well, for starters I don’t participate in things that are stupid (like dodgeball) and I certainly don’t participate in things just because generic rule followers request it of me.

So take a look at your life today and notice what kinds of things you’re participating in. Do you enjoy it? Does it bring you satisfaction? Or are you doing it to appease someone?

For example, do you participate in donating to the charity of the week when you’re going through the checkout at Costco? Is it because you want to? Or is it because you’re worried that if you don’t, all those hot dog munchers behind you will think you’re a heartless bitch?

Participation is wonderful when it brings people together and diabolical when it forces you to just go through the motions for fear of being ostracized !

Posted in May 2016, Veronica Noir | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Tarot Card Reading for May 2 – 8

Here is your Tarot reading for the upcoming week :)
Please feel free to add your own interpretations of these cards in the comments below!

Have a great week!

xoxo
Kate
The Daily Tarot Girl

Posted in March 2016, Weekly Tarot Forecast Videos | 1 Comment

Cooking for one….is not a f**king tragedy

Veronica

Veronica Noir is one of the world’s greatest Tarot readers…and she is also my evil twinsies! She is single, diabolical and on fire – travelling the world reading Tarot, seducing young men and running naked on the beach! Let’s see what advice she has today…

the sun

Dame Darcy Mermaid Tarot

You know what I’m tired of?

Hearing people, I mean women, say things like “Oh, it’s just me so I don’t really bother cooking a proper meal or anything”

Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you have to eat gruel and tears in a dark corner while the happily paired eat grilled salmon and asparagus tips with wine.

Don’t think you can just act like YOU aren’t worth cooking for.

Time alone needs to be celebrated! Because time alone is time free of dumbfucks and inane chitty chatty bullshit.

The Sun is about joy and celebrating life – wherever you happen to find yourself.

Don’t wait for that “special someone” to show up so you can finally make yourself a decent, god damn meal. Do it NOW! And do it with flair and style…like I, Veronica would 😉

 

Posted in April 2016, Veronica Noir | Tagged , , | 12 Comments