Have a lovely week and feel free to share your take on these cards in the comments below
Veronica is the Daily Tarot Girl’s twin and a truly horrible person. When she isn’t busy turning down charities and glaring at babies, you will find her writing these Friday blog posts…doing her best to totally ruin your life…
Today’s message is “BE YOURSELF“!
This is great advice…unless your a complete asshole, in which case please don’t be yourself.
But I am sure if your reading my blog, your an okay character
So this card says “this situation calls for you to be your authentic self, which is the basis for your personal power.”
That’s all well and good…..but don’t forget the fact that your entire life has basically consisted of military grade training in how to be inauthentic.
People say “just be yourself!” like its as easy as sneezing in a library book or farting on a treadmill.
But it’s not!
So this weekend, I want you to practice “being yourself” and then notice the delicious chaos that results.
Here’s a true story…
Yesterday, while entering my local grocery store, a group of children congregating outside the entrance asked me for a donation to some stupid sports related thing.
In their innocent, high pitched voices they said “would you like to donate to…”
“NO!” I said and marched past them.
Now your probably thinking Veronica, why so evil?
Well, because I would rather involve myself in making the world a better place in a way that has personal meaning to me. If I donate to a cause I don’t really care about, I would only be doing it out of fear of looking like a bitch if I didn’t. Totally inauthentic!
So pay attention to when you do (or don’t do) things out of fear of what others may think.
This is the key to being more “authentic” – and trust me, it’s waaaaay harder than farting on a treadmill.
Have you ever wondered what your cat was thinking? Or what your dog really wants? Do you wish you could communicate clearly with your pet?
Join me as I chat with Dr. Cara Gubbins about animals and what they want us to know.
Dr. Cara Gubbins is a Spiritual Intuitive, Animal Intuitive, and Pet Medium. Her research has been featured on CNN, the BBC, the Discovery Channel, and National Geographic Specials.
We cover all kinds of topics, such as:
♥ How to communicate with your pet
♥ What to do if you see a bear or a snake in the woods!
♥ The messages that our deceased pets have for us
Please share your thoughts in the comments below!
Have a lovely week
Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!
Now here is the lady of the Eight of Swords looking like a character in one of those kinky romance novels I have been reading on my filthy little Kindle.
And just like those masochistic heroines, this dame actually enjoys her sense of limitation and blindness.
So I ask you this…
Are you getting off on your perceived handicaps?
Are you relishing the feel of powerlessness?
Do you secretly enjoy complaining to friends about stuff?
Well, snap out of it!
While your busy writhing around in miserable ecstasy waiting for a knight in shining armor to save you, your life is passing you by!
So untie yourself, lift the blindfold and….yes, I know! Then you will actually have to take responsibility for your life.
But seriously – break out of your silly little mind prison and run free on the grassy knoll of life!
Have a good week
Veronica is my evil, tarot reading twin. Her readings are sassy and inappropriate – just like her personality! Let us see what perverted meaning she gives The Star…
God, I f*cking LOVE The Star!
Because she’s a chilled out naked chick by a river, who seems to not have a care in the world. What’s not to love?
The Star has popped into your world today to tell you that you need to RELAX!
Nothing really matters as much as you think it does.
This lovely lady knows a secret – in order to go through life with her laid back attitude, you cannot cling to anything.
Let go of rigid beliefs like I must wear a bra when I venture out in public.
Let go of resentments like my neighbor is a first rate wanker for raking his gravel driveway every morning at 7am and blowing his leaf blower each evening from 7-9pm and basically ruining my life.
Let go of attachment to your possessions – your Egyptian cotton sheets and Vitamix blender don’t enhance your life as much as you think.
On second thought, maybe they do…
Let go of your expectations of people. Especially your children and romantic partner. People are weird and imperfect and that’s that.
And most of all, let go of your idea of “how things should be”.
The Star is dumping out both jugs and she’s naked. She doesn’t cling to anything. Because she doesn’t need to. The world is her oyster and it can be yours too!
So now you just need to get nude.
Do you remember when you were 13 and you would spend hours doing those stupid quizzes in teen magazines?
I remember one lazy Summer day in particular when I laid up in my friends tree fort with a pile of Seventeen magazines and we quizzed each other on crucial topics like Does your crush like you?, Which hollywood hearthrob should I date? and What your shoes say about you…
I thought I would bring back some of that nostalgic Summer fun with a totally ridiculous Tarot personality quiz!
I bet you’re just dying to know which of the four Tarot suits – Wands, Pentacles, Cups and Swords – your personality falls into.
Well, wait no longer!
1. It’s a hot Summer day and you’re spending a day at the beach! You spend your time….
a. Thinking, thinking, thinking…..about all your problems and what you should about this colossal problem that is your life.
b. Daydreaming about sexy mermen and all the wonderful possibilities life has to offer.
c. Swimming, running up and down the beach and chatting up the 21 year old lifeguard.
d. Napping in the sun, lazily collecting sea shells and chowing down on fried food at the concession stand while you read some grisly true crime book.
2. Your dream career is…
a. Professor of something very intellectual where you get to wear smart looking glasses and read lots of books.
b. Painter and sculptor that lives on an island, by the beach. Instead of a coffee break, you take skinny dipping breaks.
c. Running your own business where you get to be creative, teach, travel and be fabulous!
d. Farmer, Builder or Chef – something earthy, where you get to work with your hands.
3. When you go to a friend’s house for dinner, you….
a. Fret about what your host will serve because you are very, very concerned about chemical additives, GMOs, pesticide residue, gluten, BGH in dairy and eating meals with a 80/20 alkaline/acidic ratio.
b. Are simply delighted and touched by the beautiful foods she has lovingly prepared for you. You feel so nourished!
c. Look forward to meeting the other guests and networking with them. You have so many exciting, juicy stories to share and love being the center of attention.
d. Spend forever picking out what to wear. Everything you own seems to exacerbate your spare tire. But holy fuck, are you ever looking forward to knocking back the wine tonight! Good times ahead!
4. When you meet someone for the first time, you always ask them…
a. What books they are currently reading.
b. How their love life is going or how they met their significant other.
c. What their big dreams and visions are.
d. What they do for a living.
5. In bed you like…
a. Dirty talk and role playing. Maybe even a bit of bondage.
b. Romantic bubble baths and eye gazing.
c. Excitement galore! Elevator sex, threesomes and lap dancing.
d. A candlelit massage on silk sheets, followed by a generous glass of red wine.
6. A perfect meal would not be complete without…
a. Scintillating conversation and debate.
b. Deliciously prepared seafood
c. Something spicy!
d. Chewy bread, tasty fowl, fine wine, good cheese and Tiramisu.
7. Your favorite escape is…
c. A torrid affair
d. A good book
8. If you were handed one million dollars, you would…
a. Pay off your mortgage, upgrade your car and get your masters degree.
b. Go to a $30,000 shamanic dream journey retreat in Hawaii, a $28,000 past life DNA activation seminar in Sedona, Arizona, a $40,000 painting the goddess art tour of Italy, Greece and Turkey, etc, etc… and more wonderful stuff like this!
c. Start a charity for animals in need, backpack around the world – volunteering with various humanitarian aid organizations and write a novel about it.
d. Get plastic surgery.
9. Your tastes in literature tend to lean towards…
b. Romance novels.
c. Self help, personal growth and business books.
d. Stories! Especially trilogies and epic series.
10. You suddenly realize your job is total shit and everyone you work with is a complete sociopath. So of course you….
a. Spend a lot of time thinking about what you should do…..and plotting revenge.
b. Emote! Cry about your troubles to friends, family and random strangers in the lineup at the grocery store.
c. Take action! Immediately start looking for a new job and/or quit your current job.
d. Say to yourself “making changes is too hard right now” and then go watch some reality TV, eat some crispy chips and pretend everythings fine. Your unhappiness will show up later as stomach problems, headaches, rashes and eye infections.
Okay, now tally up your score…
Mostly A’s – Oh no, this means you identify most strongly with the Suit of Swords – the jerkiest suit in the Tarot! Your brainy, bitchy, focused and boring. Oh well, at least your well read.
On the plus side, your great at communicating with others, teaching and making decisions. You don’t like to dawdle and piss around – you get shit done and most people respect you a great deal, even if they can’t stand you.
Mostly B’s - Yay! Your Cupsy! You identify most strongly with the Suit of Cups – the creative, emotional, touchy feely suit. You love intimacy but crave your freedom.
You enjoy spiritual exploration, personal growth and making stuff but your mom tells you that you need to get your shit together, for god’s sakes your 35 years old and other people your age have families, careers and second marriages. When are you ever going to find yourself?
Mostly C’s - Well congratulations, you Wandsy Wanton! You identify most strongly with the Suit of Wands, the suit of impassioned action and adventure.
Your a go-getter, people like you and your sexy as hell. But at some point you will crash and burn, so don’t get so smug with your checked off goal lists and your manifested dreamboards. Mwwahahaha! At some point you will have a midlife crisis and realize that being successful is totally boring…at which point you may suddenly attain spiritual enlightenment.
Mostly D’s - You identify strongly with the Suit of Pentacles. Your down to earth and what you see is what you get. You have truly mastered the art of being in the here and now – as skill that others could certainly learn from you.
You love all the earthly delights like food, wine and sex, but you can sometimes become obsessed with your physical appearance and have a tendency to ignore your emotions, which resurface as physical problems like constipation, low back pain and allergies.
In the comments below tell me which suit you fit into (or if you were a combination of two suits) and if your personality description was bang on or way off target ….
Have a good week
Veronica Noir is an anarchist, International woman of mystery, banana bread lover, frantic scrawler of smut and just happens to be my evil twin/alter ego. And that sneaky little witch has gotten into my Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards again…..
The goddess Sulis is here to tell you to “Spend time near water, such as a lake, river, or the ocean, to recharge your batteries.”
Get drunk in the bathtub!
But in all seriousness, you really need to drag your ass over to some water. Preferably loud, roaring water like a ferocious river so that your incessant thoughts and the voices of dumbf*cks all around you will be droned out.
There’s something very rejuvenating about massive bodies of water. Have you noticed this?
Your life could be a total shitstorm, but spend a few minutes gazing out at the sea or floating in a lake and you’re all like what was my problem again?
Also, we can learn a lot from water. Water flows. Obstacles be damned. Water is powerful. It’s everywhere. Still water gets slimy and scuzzy.
What kind of body of water are YOU? Are you a raging river, a torrential downpour, a still, calm lake or a magnificent ocean?