Veronica is my evil twin and partner in crime. You can find her camping out in metaphysical bookstores and napping through a yoga class. When she isn’t scrawling chick-porn on her laptop, she’s writing Tarot readings for this blog…
Osho Zen Tarot
Your Inner Buddha wants you to just chill the fuck out already. Seriously.
Your personality/ego self is all like “aah! What must people think of me? I don’t make enough money! I look like a bloated whale in these pants! How am I going to get everything done today?”
Meanwhile, your Inner Buddha reclines on a chaise lounge with a joint in one hand, not giving a shit about any of it.
It’s time to meet this mysteriously calm little person inside of you….
When you think “what will the bitches in my office think of my new shoes?”, your Inner Buddha thinks “where can I find some velcro moccasins?”
When you obsess about whether or not your partner really loves you, your Inner Buddha couldn’t care less. It’s completely fucking irrelevant.
It’s not that your Inner Buddha doesn’t care about anything, it’s just that it doesn’t care about stupid pointless shit. And for many of us, worrying and thinking about stupid pointless shit can consume a pretty big part of our day.
So this weekend, don’t try to stop worrying or thinking about stupid pointless shit. That never works. Just ask yourself “what would my Inner Buddha do?”
Imagine this: It’s 8pm on a dark and rainy night. Thunder and lighting boom and flash in the distance as you sit in your armchair by the fire, shuffling your Tarot cards.
Across from you sits Minxy Blue – a friend of a friend. Minxy is a high class escort who lives a lavish lifestyle, “escorting” distinguished gentlemen and the occasional celebrity. But she has recently met someone special who has a problem with her chosen line of work. His name is Vlad Smith and he has proposed to her on the condition that she quit her escort job and do something else.
Minxy loves Vlad but she also loves her work. She’s in a conundrum! She asks you “what on Earth am I supposed to do?”
Just then, two cards come flying out of the deck, landing upright on the table in front of you.
But here’s the challenge: Minxy doesn’t have the time or the patience to listen to you ramble about the cards. So make it quick! In just 3 sentences or less, interpret these two cards in a way that is helpful to Minxy:
Please feel free to post your interpretation in the comments below!
If you would like to see how I interpreted these cards, just click on the text below…
Speak openly with Vlad about how you feel about leaving your career (Two of Cups). But make sure you go within and do some soul searching to find out what is truly important to you right now (The Hermit). There is much light and brightness in these two cards which shows that now is not the time to hide from your feelings and issues, Minxy girl!
My camera battery died right at the end of this video! So please see below the video for my wrap-up comments
And what I would have added if my camera hadn’t died is this: It’s okay to take your time with important decisions this week. Don’t put pressure on yourself, be gentle and take it nice and slow. Your going through some big changes, so it’s nice to have that shell to retreat back under when things get too intense!
Have a great week and feel free to add your own interpretation of these cards in the comments below
Veronica is my alter ego – she says the things I have always longed to say and does the things I’ve always longed to do! When she isn’t whizzing around the world in her private jet full of boy toys, she’s yelling at crows (they are so loud at 5 am!) and sneering at what other people are buying in the grocery store. Here is her take on the Six of Wands…
Anna K Tarot
Do you remember that obnoxious scene in Titanicwhere Leo Dicaprio shouts “I’m the king of the world!” from the bow of the ship? And then dies later?
Well, that’s what this card reminds me of.
And do you know someone in your life who is an annoying overachiever? Some dick who runs marathons, buys “investment properties” and has a “career”?
I know, those people are everywhere!
Or heaven forbid, maybe YOU are an overachiever. It’s okay, there’s still hope for you.
The Six of Wands depicts the fleeting glee that arises when you “succeed” on society’s terms.
It’s all sunshine and silken red loincloths at first, but then you realize that being successful isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it demands a certain amount of those sinister traits called responsibility and maturity. Um, yuck. No thanks.
If your “success” brings you more unpleasantness – like more work, more busy-ness, less free time, etc – then you need to re-think what success really means for you.
My personal idea of success is long stretches of uninterrupted free time, anonymity, fancy bedding and not giving a shit about what others think of me.
Do you wish you had your own personal life coach? Well guess what? If you have a deck of Tarot cards you kind of already do have a life coach. Let me explain…
Think of your Tarot deck as a mediator between you and your Higher Self (or Inner Self, Unconscious, Inner Wisdom, Inner Guru, whatever).
Here’s my easy peasy formula for gleaning important info and guidance into your life via your Tarot cards:
If you would like to do this exercise along with me, the video version is below. Otherwise, read on!
1. Identify your “issue” or problem that you would like some guidance around.
When I did this exercise last night, I chose my “issue” of not finding the right house to buy. I have been searching for over a year and haven’t found the right place yet.
2. Ask “what do I need to know about (issue) ?”
For example, what do I need to know about finding the right home (and why I haven’t yet)?
3. Draw ONE card.
The card I got was The Moon.
Anna K Tarot
4. Which suit is that card from? This will indicate the area of your life in which your “issue” is based.
Major Arcana = spiritual, life path, major life lesson
Wands = energetic, creative, career
Cups = emotional, relationships
Swords = mental, thoughts, communication
Pentacles = body/health, money, material stuff
Court card = A particular person or personality trait
Keep an open mind here. The area of your life that your issue is based in may surprise you. For example, your health problems could be connected to your relationships (Cups) or your relationship issue could be rooted in your money issues (Pentacles).
Because I got The Moon, a Major Arcana card, I know my issue of not finding a house has to do with my life path and is acting as a major spiritual lesson right now.
5. Now, lets take a closer look at the card. We know the area that it relates to, but what is it trying to tell you? Jot down the traditional meaning of your card.
The Moon Tarot card has to do with the subconscious, dreams and that which is hidden. Sometimes it can indicate deception or not being fully aware of something.
6. How does the traditional meaning (or keywords) apply to your specific issue and/or the area of your life in which this issue is based.
Here is where you are really getting into the nooks and crannies of your issue. This is a chance to look at your issue/problem in a way that you probably haven’t yet.
When I did my reading I felt that The Moon applied to my life in that I have been having lots of dreams lately about going down into basements to view disturbing things (which I suspect is a symbol for exploring the unconscious). This could indicate that subconscious issues are holding me back from finding a house.
7. What advice does my chosen card have for me? What should be your next step?
Now you are switching the lens through which you see this card. You are asking a different question, but there is no need to draw a different card. You only need to look at this card in a different light.
When I gaze at The Moon, the advice that jumps out at me is this: study your dreams and explore the scaryness and ugliness that lies beneath the surface. The frightening things you find in the basement of your dreams may represent thoughts, fears and feelings that you have repressed because you’ve deemed the unacceptable or too scary to face.
8. Set a goal. Write it down. Give yourself a timeline. Take action.
This is where the life-coachy part comes in! The impact of a really insightful Tarot reading can vanish like a fart in the wind if you don’t write it down and do something about it.
I set the goal to consult some dream books and take a closer look at the symbols in my dreams and do some journalling around this. I aim to do this over the next 7 days.
9. Bonus question: what message does my Inner Self have for me in regards to this issue?
If you still feel a little unsatisfied with your reading, this can be a nice way to wrap things up. Spend some time gazing at your card, noticing the symbols and general vibe of the card. Can you decipher a comforting or encouraging message there?
When I gazed at The Moon, I noticed that it wasn’t a full moon – it was only a crescent moon. When I pondered this for a bit I heard the phrase “the moon is not yet full” meaning that the time has not yet come, but it will. In other words, now is not the right time for me to find a house. So I can just relax.
Was it good for you? Let me know what you think!
In the comments below feel free to share your own experience with this Tarot exercise
Veronica Noir, The Daily Tarot Girl’s evil counterpart, is here to kick some sense into you with her uncompassionate style of Tarot reading. She usually writes these half-drunk, so take her advice with a grain of salt…or a tablespoon!
Hezicos Tarot by Mary Griffi
Are you tired of spending your hard earned money on totally boring things like insurance, taxes, RRSPs and toothpaste?
The Four of Coinsnymph is here to suggest that you start spending your cash on the things that matter – lavish dinners, theater tickets, Turkish towels and gigolos!
That is what money was made for! Not all this boring shit that seems to consume 100% of your income. Good God!
Some people think the Four of Coins (aka Four of Pentacles) is about being cheap or feeling the need to pinch pennies. But it’s not!
Its about feeling pissed off that you have to spend so much money on totally pointless stuff that brings you absolutely no pleasure whatsoever. Like spending tons of money on a modest, unsexy car….so you can drive to work everyday.
So this weekend, blow your dough on something totally delicious. Something totally extravagant. Something totally….hedonistic!
In the comments below, tell me what one awesome thing you are going to spend your money on this weekend….and please don’t say “penny slots” or Doritos. Fuck!
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