Veronica Noir is The Daily Tarot Girl’s fearless, daring (yet evil!) twin. When she isn’t offering up salacious advice on a Friday, she’s cruising around the Mediterranean on her yacht with a couple of boy-toys, a good book and a cool mojito.
Today or this weekend a close friend will ask you for advice. You will be tempted to unleash your mental cornucopia of brilliant insights.
If you do, this is what will happen:
Your friend will nod along like she’s listening. But then she will do the exact opposite of what you said. Almost as if she asked for your opinion only to reject it in a coy maneuver of subtle oneupmanship. The nerve!
So do this instead:
Give the exact opposite of what you think is “good advice” – your friend isn’t listening anyway, so have fun with it.
If she whines about her marriage, tell her to have an affair with the pool-boy. If she moans about how tired she is, suggest she mix a little Speed into her morning coffee. All work-related issues can be solved by taking an extended sick leave or quitting. All neighborly disputes can be fixed with….fists.”Maybe violence IS the answer”, you tell her.
You may soon find that none of your friends ever ask you for advice anymore. But would that really be such a bad thing?
Pssst….my good twin Kate has just made a Tarot Journal for you to enjoy. I would recommend it but, sadly, it is completely devoid of naked men pics and cocktail recipes, rendering it utterly useless to me. But you might like it….see it right here!
Ok, so I just had to come back to this post and share how I put it to use, because frankly, it was f*ckin’ brilliant! (Just like a certain lovely Friday Tarot reader 🙂 ) Anyway, my mother has been working on going back to school and applying for scholarships, and I don’t mind helping her with that stuff, but she was whining about every little thing because of stress and asking me things like, “how do you spell scholarship?” at least ten different times in the same day. (uh, spell-check, hello?) I would tell her to do something or whatever, and she’d just go on lamenting, “Oh, I have no idea; I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?” (aka “Do it for me?” sometimes) It was to the point that I wanted her to just figure it for herself, or only ask me when she genuinely needed my help.
So when it came time to answer a scholarship question for her, I wrote about Sally Rand. Sally Rand was a silent-film actress during a World’s Fair who couldn’t make it in the talkies because of a speech impediment. She decided to ride out on a stage practically naked on the back of a horse to get noticed, and went on to become a famous burlesque dancer, popularizing the well-known “fan dance”- like Nichelle Nichols/Uhura did during that one Star Trek movie, lol. Since my mom also has a vocal disability, I drew this whole analogy between her and Sally Rand; about how she wouldn’t let her disability hold her back. She would “ride out on that stage naked” and use her story to inspire other students to pursue an education, no matter what their situation was like and whatnot…blah, blah, blah.
I handed the paper to my mom, and she kinda made this face when she read it. When I asked her what she thought, she went,”Well, I like parts of it…thank-you.” She eventually just decided (at least for the time being) to wait until Spring quarter to go for that scholarship and not worry about it right now. She also hasn’t really been asking me to help with school stuff anymore. Amen! Sorry for the long comment, but I just HAD to share because, you know, epic! And thank-you for this reading as always. So much good! 🙂
Happy Holidays!
Chani
*Pardon, Sally Rand CREATED the fan dance 🙂
Oh wow! I am really shocked I have never come across her – I LOVE fan dancing. I recently saw a bellydancer who incorporated huge feather fans in her dance and it was just amazing.
Chani, I loved this story – thank you for sharing it 🙂 I have never heard of Sally Rand (surprisingly!) but she sounds pretty awesome. But reading this brings back a scary memory of helping my mom figure out how to get photos developed using one of those in-store computers – it was kind of a disaster. Anyhow, I love how you took the advice from Friday and used it – that is so inspiring!!! And I am now going to go look up Sally Rand 🙂
Your mom is pretty lucky to have you, Chani!
Kate
This is brilliant! I love it! One of the best ever! 🙂
Thanks Mel 🙂
I love it! No one listens to me anyway, so I think I’ll start doing this sort of thing! This should shake things up! LOL!
I highly recommend it…if your friends don’t listen to you then they deserve terrible, destructive advice 😉
xoxo
Veronica
Each Friday I tell myself: Veronica cannot surprise me anymore… and yet…
Each time I get more and more amazed by her intelligent, crazy-sexy-bitchy lightness, and depth in the same time! Thanks! xoxo
Yes, EG, like a made in China Christmas cracker, I am full of surprises!
xoxo
Veronica
Hahahaha!!
Love you Veronica (and Kate too).
Happy Solstice.
Hee Hee – thanks, Kris!
Happy Solstice to you too 🙂
Veronica
Already happened, today. I think he understands the support aspect of just having someone positive to talk to. With love and rejection and all those times when we beat ourselves up and ask what we could have done different to have a better outcome….in a relationship…. it’s best just to realize that time must pass and we just have to allow ourselves that time to get over all that pain. He drives me crazy, this friend. Times seem a bit crazier right now, crazier than usual. Lots of advice needed…lots of hugs.
Hope it all works out for you Heidi – sometimes its annoying being in that “positive support” role, but I think the more you let go of the outcome, the less caught up in the drama you will be.
Cheers,
Veronica