Veronica is my slutty talking evil twin. She reads Tarot, writes dirty novels and is an all round rebel. I let her have free reign on my blog on Fridays and here is what she penned for you….
You know how when you wear thong underwear you just can’t stop thinking about your ass crack all day long?
And don’t you think it’s ironic that in trying to make your underwear invisible to others, you end up becoming hyper aware of it yourself?
Because how can you ignore something that’s wedged between your butt cheeks? You can’t. It’s not possible.
I bet if you had to store everything you were trying to hide from the world in your butt crack, you would be a lot more authentic!
Anyways, the woman in this Five of Cups is totally pissed because she’s spilled good booze all over her crimson frock. And like any other problem – a chipped tooth, a broken nail or a massive wedgie – her mind is going to focus on that martini stain all. night. long.
Here’s the thing: shit happens. Your boy toy spills his drink on you, you wear thong underwear for some dumb reason, you mow someone over with your convertible. That’s life. But do you really need to dwell on it for the rest of your day? No. You don’t.
Give your hair a flip and move on with things. Pick the thong wedgie out of your crack. Or better yet…get rid of your undies altogether.
Panties are for wimps anyway.