How to live like a sultan!


Veronica is my evil twin and I let her scrawl her silliness all over my blog every Friday. Her readings are deep, insightful and full of penis innuendos. Let’s see what nonsense advice she has for you today…

9 of pents

Morgan Greer Tarot

Just like a spectator at an orgy, the fancy lady of the Nine of Pentacles reclines with ease and luxuriously nibbles on grapes!

Do you wish you could be this fancy lady?

Guess what? You can!

All you need is a falcon, some head jewels and the understanding that everything feels more decadent when you just sit back, relax and eat grapes.

If the kids are fighting this weekend, don’t intervene. Sit back, relax and eat some grapes. Pretend your watching gladiators in a Roman coliseum.

Friends boring you with tiresome, detailed stories about their latest vacation? Sit back, relax and eat grapes. Indulge in a lurid sex fantasy about Daniel Craig. Your friends won’t even know!

Can’t stand the thought of cooking dinner for your in-laws on Sunday night? Fuck it. Sit back, relax and eat grapes. Order pizza.

So there you have it. A plan for your weekend!

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This entry was posted in January 2016, Veronica Noir. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to How to live like a sultan!

  1. Paula says:

    Veronica is the BEST! Thank you for this post. It’s such a good reminder to just sometimes sit back, relax, and eat grapes (I prefer chocolate, but grapes work).

  2. Rosie says:

    Countries who can grow their own food supplies in the winter have so many more options. Raisins count, right?!

  3. Robin says:

    or grapes.

  4. Mel says:

    This is brilliant! Yes, I think I need to sit back and eat some fucking grapes this weekend! Best advice I’ve had in quite awhile!!! 🙂

    Thank you!

  5. Angie Green says:

    I LOVE Veronica! She’s full of great life advice. Now, I just need to get me a harem…

  6. PaperMoon says:

    That just made my morning. Fuck it. I’m sitting back eating some grapes today.

  7. Susan says:

    What a fantastic idea, thank you.

  8. Blaine says:

    I am head to the store to buy some grapes?

  9. Aura Eadon says:

    “Sit back, relax, and eat grapes.”

    Brilliant, the post made me smile. The best way to start Friday morning is with such a smile. Thank you. 😀

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