“Self Love”: Not Just a Euphemism for Masturbation

veronica 2

Veronica is my evil, Tarot reading twin. She loves to write smut, travel the world and sun-tan topless in inappropriate places. Today she decided to recycle one of her readings from last year because deep down she just knows you’re too blitzed to notice…

The Star

Housewives Tarot

You know what? You’re a STAR!

Why? You just are!

Now it’s time to celebrate yourself.

But not in a lame, sissy-pants way like taking a bubble bath or eating a piece of chocolate cake.

You should be doing that stuff anyway – as a regular  part of life.

Celebrate by taking yourself on a hot date.

Treat yourself to an exquisite lunch. Order copious amounts of champagne and things containing dairy, gluten and refined sugar – but wear one of those fancy-lady scarves so you can strategically camouflage your gut as you bask in hedonistic splendor!

Make sure you arm yourself with today’s newspaper and while your waiting for your food, scrawl a Hitler stash on everyone you don’t like the looks of. This will provide you with hours of divine amusement and laughter!

Ahhh, this is what “self-love” really feels like.

Tell me….how will you celebrate YOU this weekend?

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This entry was posted in May 2016, Veronica Noir and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to “Self Love”: Not Just a Euphemism for Masturbation

  1. Getting a massage twice in two weeks!

  2. Rosie says:

    I went to a metal (music) festival. Five days of rocking out in Baltimore!

  3. Trina says:

    ah I love Veronica

  4. jia says:

    Cutting down people who are emotionally dependent on me 24/7. Not sharing self-love anymore !!

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