F*ck those one-uppers!

Guess what? My evil twin Veronica is baaaaack! After a several month long “sabbatical” full of cocktails, weed, hot construction workers and hammock naps, she’s raring to get back in the saddle.

A classic one-upper! Six of Pentacles from the Druidcraft Tarot

The holiday season is upon us and it creates a lush environment for The One-Upper to thrive.

Whether it’s excessive gift-giving, over the top home made cookie tins or crafting illusions of extreme busyness, The One-Upper in your life is in their fucking element right now.

And if you usually wring your hands in despair at these expensive gift bearing sharks, listen up.

The best way to deal with The One-Upper is to take full advantage of them.

Enjoy their efforts. Thank them. Be sincere. But do not feel pressured to reciprocate or match the bizarre level of energy and enthusiasm of The One-Upper.

Sure, they’ll think you’re an asshole, but who cares?

You’ll both be getting what you need – they’ll get to reinforce their inner narrative that they’re the good one who tries extra hard and you’re the lazy fuck-up. And you’ll get to practice the zen art of being okay with others thinking you’re a grade A douche bag.

It frees you up!

And next year the bar will be lowered. They won’t have to try so hard to one-up you, serving store bought cookies and doling out $10 giftcards….

And the next year it will be even lower. Perhaps they won’t get you anything.

And WHAM! That’s when you buy them a massive gift basket or surprise them with a box of home made caramels and gold dusted truffles.

Let the instantaneous psychological breakdown commence!

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18 Responses to F*ck those one-uppers!

  1. Fim says:

    I never met you Veronica, but I like you. I stay far away from people during this season, so don’t really to see that on-up-manship world any more, and I told my friends, that I felt in these times when there’s few if any windfalls, that they didn’t and shouldn’t get me anything to save them money, because I was doing the same on the money saving end. It worked out fine, except for the one or two people who still insist.
    WTF! that’s their thing, not mine.

  2. Sid says:

    I missed you, Veronica. 😎

  3. Margaret says:

    Excellent! I admit to being the “one-upper when it comes to wine consumption but definitely not baking cookies or carefully crafting the perfect gift basket. Thanks for making me laugh.

  4. Vrindi says:

    Hahahahahaha! This made my morning, thank you!

  5. steve says:

    when can i get the link to learning meaning of tarot cards i paid for

  6. Babbette says:

    Just a question please…
    I was wondering if this Friday card is just for today or does it cover the weekend?
    Thanks! 🙂

  7. Marie says:

    LOL Thank you Veronica! This season when I get this feeling, I shall just remember this post and sit there smiling with an evil grin while laughing hysterically inside. Then make a quick exit to the bathroom where I can laugh myself to death for real in a towel!

  8. James says:

    You had a lazy summer, now you are back full of vim and vigar or should I say vinnager! Should I give you this idea? Perhaps you could think of any other sneaky little treat? Your not the only one, but one of many evil twins……That lovely one upper you received, you just give it to someone else! What joy! Now just imagine…… if the next person did the same thing, oh what fun it is…..this season to be …….Ba humbug!

  9. simplysharon says:

    Veronica (Kate) – I am astonished (shouldn’t be I guess) that you see that card the same way I do. I am not sure if that is just the “Veronica” way of interpreting it, or if that is Kate’s way ‘in general’ of seeing it too…

    You are so funny!! I think I have been both… but much more enjoy the relaxation of not being a One-Upper. I actually never thought of it, until I was reading this and literally saw the situation that happened. I never thought of it as being a One-Upper, but there was that energy! It’s good that I can look back and laugh at myself. Thank you.

  10. Lori Christoffersen says:

    brava. well said. *grin, wink*

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