The Art of Conversation 101

My evil twin Veronica is back. And she’s been attending Christmas parties, drinking to excess, judging people, shit-talking others and flirting inappropriately. Who better to give you some good, old fashioned Tarot advice?

Universal Waite Tarot Deck (U.S. Games Inc)

The other day I attended a Christmas party where I was subjected to multiple people talking endlessly about themselves.

During one of these “conversations” I smiled and nodded with feigned interest as this lady told me a detailed story about the NYC bus schedule when she lived there three years ago. And then about her last vacation and everything she did every moment of every single day. She went on, and on and on….

I waited patiently for my reward for all this suffering – a chance to finally talk about ME! But sadly, this chance never came.

The “conversations” that followed weren’t much better. I heard all about peoples  “6 figure” incomes, real estate investments, vacation plans, babies, grandchildren and allergies.

And this got me thinking….

I seem to possess the superhuman power of awareness that although my life is fascinating to me, it’s not as fascinating to others. Thus, I do not drone on insufferably about the minutiae of my life.

And guess what else?

I ask people questions about themselves. I pretend to give a shit. Sometimes I actually DO give a shit.

But from here on out…NO MORE! I’ve tallied up all the hours spent listening to people wax on about themselves. According to my calculations, I’ve spent over 40,000 hours humoring others. That’s almost 5 years straight of nodding and smiling.

So for the next 5 years (at least) I’m going to attempt to correct this imbalance by talking endlessly about myself every chance I get! Cats I like, hot guys that go to my gym, dirty books I’m reading, teen dramas I’m binging on Netflix – all things I can easily drone on about at my next party! Fuck, I can’t wait!

But I want to know…who are you in this story? The gifted conversationalist or the self-obsessed blabbermouth? (Don’t worry…there’s  no judgement here. Ya right!)

Side note: People who boast about making “6 figures” need to fuck off already. And people who ask “are you making 6 figures yet?” need to fuck off twice as hard.

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This entry was posted in December 2017, Veronica Noir and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to The Art of Conversation 101

  1. steve says:

    Yes these people can be PIA, but listening is one if not the most important skills a reader or just a person has to understand how people tick, i do like hearing certain things about journeys travel, etc, but if they start bragging about how great they are about something then i am out of there like bat out of hell. i normally give about 5-10 minutes or more if its interesting and then i politely excuse myself of to the bathroom that normally works, aend then avoid that person like the plaque

    • I know what you mean, Steve. I had an experience recently where I extracted myself from a particularly draining person and went into the kitchen to catch my breath and she followed me in! And started talking again! I wanted to bang my head against the wall, lol!

  2. CindyW says:

    actually I find Veronica refreshing. I’m older than most of the people around me, and they don’t make six figures anyway (I don’t live in a major city), but do wish someone stopped and thought before they opened their mouths about how well they’re doing in a country with such extremes in income (and I’m closer to the lower end, and they know it). Don’t they have enough people to brag to who are also doing well? And I always thought that good manners meant you spent about half your time blabbing about yourself, and the other half listening (people? did you forget?) That old “Indian” saying about we have two ears because we’re supposed to listen twice as much comes to mind …

    • I’m glad you enjoyed this Cindy 🙂 I like that saying about the ears – and yes, I think the art of conversation is being able to strike a fine balance between being able to share about yourself and take an interest in the other person. And I feel like so many people don’t know how to do that! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

  3. Debbie Gambill says:

    I listen, nod and smile…. Sometime I give back encouraging words on issues that are hard for them to deal with…I ask questions on topics that they talk about that I could learn something about…
    As far as possible be on good terms with all people. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to other. Even the dull and ignorant, for they too have their story…
    Personally I think your evil twin Veronica is selfish and self-centered. She is everything I don’t ever want to be…

  4. Tanya says:

    I don’t usually relate to Veronica, but I might have to rethink that, because this post is fabulous!

  5. Angela says:

    I just love Veronica! She says all the things I am thinking. I have given up going to random parties and gatherings etc – just not worth the time and energy. Always boring and I can’t wait to leave and get back to watching trash on Netflix.
    Now – an evening with Veronica might not be a waste of time! We could talk about 90210!

  6. Carol says:

    I like to listen to people stories they pretty much tell you who they are. My motto is when someone tells and shows you who they are believe them. So I learn a lot about someone through conversation. I myself am an open book if ask about me I share if not I listen and learn with no problem.

  7. Martha says:

    Yikes! You’re right, and I think I might be both!?! Self absorbed one minute and drained by all those who are self absorbed the next. Oh well, lets talk about me…

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